To My Dearest Older Brother

Dear Ryan,

It is perfectly okay for you to do absolutely nothing but sit on your butt all day watching TV shows on your laptop and playing video games all day and leave everyone else in the house pick up your slack. After you wrapped the five dollar presents you got everyone, just leave all the wrapping paper scraps and tape and scissors on the dining room table. Mom will clean it up for you.

Cook another frozen pizza for lunch? Sure, leave the cookie pan dirty in the sink so me or Rachel or Mom will clean it. Trash can’s overflowing? No big deal. Just leave it there; try and cram your trash in there too. I’ll take it out later. Your week to do dishes? No big deal, you’ll put them away once this week and leave half of them on the counter because “you don’t know where they go.” I forgot that our kitchen had a bunch of secret compartments where we hide dishes and cups and mugs. You have been living in this house for 26 years and you don’t know where they are or where that dish goes? Totally believable.

Oh, and don’t mind the fact that you are 26 years old and still living with your parents. Not paying rent. Or contributing anything to my parents or doing anything that they tell you to do. But it’s okay, mom will defend you.

And you went to a private college and racked up some pretty big loans to become a middle school teacher. Then your friends told you all these awful things after you got your degree, so you decided to go back and get another one. Without even trying to get a job or see for yourself if you would like to teach. Or paying off any of your loans for your last degree. Yeah, believe everything you hear. Because everything that happened to your friends will definitely happen to you. I know, I know, you didn’t like “the politics involved” with the job. Because the government isn’t involved with any other jobs but teachers. Right.

So go to another private college to get a completely different degree, rack up some more loans for my parents to pay, and like I said, sit on your butt all day. Don’t bother to work or save any money to pay back my parents all the money you owe them. Oh wait, you don’t think you owe them anything… So go ahead, buy a super awesome $200 helicopter that you played with for about a month; oh and yeah, max out your credit card by buying a new desktop computer–when you already have a perfectly fine desktop and a laptop. So you can get “better graphics” to play your educational and mind-stimulating video games. That will get you somewhere in life.

Spend all of your money, don’t bother saving it. Saving your money is absolutely ludicrous because our parents will just keep housing you and buying you food and everything else that your little heart desires. You got the right idea. Keep living with your parents until you’re thirty when you graduate with your next degree. Because everyone loves such a hard worker who persevered through all these horrible years of not having to pay rent, electric, gas, food, college, insurance. I’d love to marry a guy that was thirty and still living with his parents.

It’s too bad I’ll be leaving for college next year. I really will miss you. I love cleaning up your crap. I love watching my parents try to figure out how to balance their checkbook and figure out a working budget because they pay everything for you. I love not being able to have car insurance because we can’t afford it because you’re twenty six and not paying for your own so I can’t get a car. But you really need your car. You have friends lining up outside the front door to hang out with you. Really, no worries. I’ll be sad to leave you to go a university three hours away where I’m trying to do something with my life. Maybe you should learn from your nine year younger little sister. Never mind, what a silly thought.

With all the love I can muster,


14 thoughts on “To My Dearest Older Brother”

  1. To be honest, I’m inclined to blame your parents at least a little bit for the situation. I don’t really understand why they don’t just kick him out of the house or force him to pay rent or to get a job. At the same time though, your brother should really get off his lazy ass and try to make something of his life. I was just thinking “no girl will ever want to marry him” right when I read the sentence in your post where you say basically the exact same thing. :P It’s like that movie Failure to Launch. xD

    It’s a good thing you’re going away to uni soon so you won’t have to live in that stressful environment anymore. :)

  2. I’m sorry you have to deal with that all the time. :\ Maybe your parents or even you could talk to him about it?
    Lol, my mom tried to make sure I set them far enough apart, but in then end it just didn’t work out. :P
    The Squid and the Whale came out in 2005, I think, so I guess it’s an older movie. It’s about these two boys dealing with their parents divorce and growing up and such. It’s kind of sad in parts but it was good. :)

  3. LMAO…I would love to know what your brother Ryan would write about you. Although it seems pretty typical of the guys in my hometown…as for the whole teaching thing, is student teaching required where you live? Perhaps he discovered he didn’t like it then?

  4. Maybe he just needs some time to snap out of it. Some encouragement maybe. Or, well, I don’t know. Maybe someday he’ll shape up. Maybe he won’t.

  5. Your brother is so hopeless! I don’t know how you could stand writing this with such sarcasm. I think the worst thing your brother could do is just keep studying and letting himself drown in debt. That’s right, your parents should leave him by the side of the road, quite literally. He needs to grow up. He isn’t going to get anywhere and I feel like your parents should really do something about it. He’s old enough to do his own thing.

    He’s old enough to learn. I sometimes hope my younger brother won’t be like that in the future. He’s only 16 but he’s really lazy and I just hope he won’t end up being older and like your brother. I’ve read a lot of posts about people’s brothers who are just as bad. :(

    *hugs* I’m sure you won’t miss him when you’re gone. I think you ought to talk to your parents too, they must be feeling some of the stress. Good luck to them for when you’re not there to help them out. D:

  6. Oh. My. God. Becca. Some parts felt like it was ME writing this. I have a now 30 year old brother who still lives with us. He’s never had a job before, and he’s gone back to get different degrees multiple times. My family has fallen upon pretty hard times recently because my dad finally lost his job, but he hasn’t really stepped up to his full potential. So now that money is an issue, getting car insurance is a bit of a problem for me, even though my brother got everything paid off for him by my parents just because you know…he was born first and was lucky. He doesn’t realize how lucky he is. Even just the simplest things my mom asks of him like putting the dishes in the sink, or taking out the trash before collection day are just too difficult for him to do. I just don’t get it. I feel bad for both of our families. I really hope our brothers can get back into shape someday…but they’re nearing middle aged men and that’s unlikely to happen. *sigh* If you ever wanna rant about older bum brothers together, I’m here! :)

  7. Ah man. I feel sorry for you Becca. I haven’t had to deal with my older brother who might be the same way. He’s been with my dad since before I can remember. I hope some changes in the right direction will happen soon and good for you in not following his example. I wonder if he would really like it or not if you did follow his example. That might be interesting to find out. :)

    Thank you for your comments on my layouts I’m really glad you like them. :)

  8. Wow, no offense, but your brother seems like he’s wasted his entire life. :/ Poor you. I hope you’ll manage to pull through this and go to college. :)

    In response to your comment on my blog, I don’t take piano lessons but I can play it by ear and I play bellkit, so it’s the same deal. :)

  9. Hey Becca! This is your old time friend Jamie from!

    I cannot believe that your older brother is like that. Seriously! He’s 26 years old, but yet the only people to blame is himself and maybe a little bit on your parents behalf as they were the ones who encouraged him to go to college, and take out loans to pay for it. But yet he let or allowed himself to listen to his friends and do nothing with his life except being a jobless bum who doesn’t pay rent. That part is your parents fault. No one’s perfect, but eh, who knows what went on?

    How are you? I like the new layout! This is my new domain. I know I’ve been gone for a long time, and I’m sorry for that. But this one is definitely here to stay!

  10. Hey Becca!! The college I’m going to is the Art Institute Of San Bernardino Of California. It’s for Web and Interactive Media Graphic Design. My dad could NOT be more happier, than to see me going to this school and in fact, he’s even giving me the deposit to get my apartment at the housing on campus. I just pay the remaining balance of $500.00 each month on the 2nd. So yup, it’s quite interesting to see what I will be getting myself into. I’m already a full-time student, already have my classes. I start on January 9th and have my orientation on January 5th where I have to buy my supplies and what not. The only bad thing is I’m not sure if the Financial Aid covers the cost which the Financial Aid Counselor said it did. So I’m not sure. They also said if I make the payment of 147.something on time for 6 months they will pay the 7th month. But since I’m getting housing that eliminates the 147.something payment. I get free money from the school if I do well my classes. One guy told me that he got $1,500.00 twice, for doing well. So I’m hoping I can do well; and concentrate and pass all my classes!

    I’m so proud of you for getting accepted into the college that you’ve been wanting to go too!!! We’re both college students now!!! haha! It’s quite alright, that you haven’t been on aim. I kinda lost your sn, when I accidentally hit the delete button on the friend’s list. OOOPS. I remember most but not all. I just remember a portion of your sn. I don’t know if there is any numbers along with it or not?

    But yeah, my dad is very happy, I’m wanting to move before New Year’s, or around that time period so that I can get my stuff in, and not having to worry about okay when do I move in, will I have time to unpack etc.etc.? The extended family I’m with now is giving me a set of dishes so I won’t have to worry about that. They’ve already bought me a brand new bath towel and washcloth. I just have to buy the rest. The twin bedding is already there plus the full bedding is there (here at the house). So I just need to move that into the housing whenever I decide to move in and I want to move in before school starts lol. My dad is willing to help me move too. I’m so excited!!! :D.

  11. Your brother needs to get smacked by reality. He’s almost 30 and is still living with his parents, and he clearly has trouble with money. Your parents should kick him out. See if that does anything for him.

  12. Awww Becca =( I’m sorry to say he sounds so irresponsible, and I’m saying the same thing as you did in your comment, that I’m restating the obvious. I believe that when you’re 25 there’s absolutely no excuse to be depending on your parents anymore, unless you lost your job and are temporary staying with them until you can find another one. Ryan sounds really spoiled, kind of like my brother Jason, except Ryan seems to have no idea what he’s doing with his life. It’s like he doesn’t even wanna try. My mom supports my brother Jason a little too much, such as paying his $700 rent but at least I know he studies so he can graduate. Though it’s kind of ridiculous he doesn’t have a job yet demands to move out of this house. Some people. If my dad had his way around here then both of us would be kicked out on our own.

    Sorry for the REALLY late reply to your comment since your site wasn’t working last time I was returning comments =/ now that I’m free I don’t have to dedicate times to returning comments I can do it anytime.

    Nope of course Jason didn’t apologize. He never apologizes for anything. It’s not like I apologized to him about it either haha but I got grounded!

    Well if you put it that way it would work, haha! Technically you had 3 dining rooms! our dining room fits about 8 people so I guess we can pull that off too.

    Lmao four definitely is not a lot of foreign friends, but before recently I hardly had any. My school is caucasian dominant. However since I live really close to NYC I now interact with a lot of Koreans and Chinese. My college is VERY diverse though, to the point that now all my friends are foreign, haha!

  13. That’s unfortunate how you’re brother is acting this way. You should show this letter to him. If he’s 26, he should really be looking for a job, or contributing to rent. I hope he realises soon what he should do.

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