It’s been a rough couple days.
I had a talk with my mom again about where I want to go to college and what I want to do, and that always puts me in a foul and depressed mood. She always implies that going into French is silly and that there’s nothing out there for it. She told me I needed a back-up, and I guess the simplest way to put it is that I feel helpless. If I don’t go into French, what do I go into? I realize that there aren’t tons and tons of jobs for it, and honestly I don’t really know what all specifically there is, but it’s the only thing that I really like that I could actually do something with. If I didn’t go into French, I’ve no idea what I would go into.
I always like to have a plan and to be prepared, so this whole not knowing what I want to do thing is just eating at me. Andrew’s all, “It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks in the end,” which is true and all, but they all have valid points.
School has been getting suckier and suckier. My grades are dropping. I don’t have motivation to do homework. I just want summer to get her so I can leave the country, at least for a little while.
I got a call back just a few minutes ago as I was typing this up from the manager at the pool that I had an interview for. Not surprisingly, I didn’t get the job. She said that my interview went great, but there is a lot of people coming back that worked last year, and other people had more experience, so they were chosen over me… Le sigh.
I’ll be able to clean houses with my mom this summer, and I have that babysitting job, so I’m still able to make some money, just not as much as I wanted. Plus, lifeguarding would’ve been really good experience and something I could’ve put on other job applications. Cleaning houses is such a crappy job, but it’s a job, nonetheless.
Amidst all this negativity, I’m going to Physics Day at Six Flags with my class at school, so it’s something to look forward to on Friday. I love blowing money on stupid games that I never win and the most delicious food ever. As cheesy as it is, I want Andrew to win me a stuffed animal.
Then after that on Friday, my friend Sidnie (who ironically enough got the lifeguarding job), is having a bonfire, so that will be pretty fun. It’s actually on my 101 list (though it’s still not finished… any suggestions?) which I’m slowly working on.
So here’s to things hopefully getting a little better really soon.