Category Archives: Thoughts

The Consequences of Not Saying Goodbye

It was 5:00 PM. I packed up my things at my desk, put my cardigan on, and headed back to the locker room where the time clock is. There were a bunch of guys from the warehouse in there conversing. I gave a small smile to the guys and punched out, not wanting to interrupt their conversation. I don’t really know any of them either.

As I was leaving, I heard a pause in the conversation, and then a sarcastic “bye!” I wondered if I should have said goodbye to them, but shrugged it off. They were talking and I didn’t want to interrupt. Then I heard in a derogatory, whisper, “Does she ever talk to anyone?”

“She doesn’t talk to me.”

“Why doesn’t she talk to anyone?”

I kept walking, not wanting to hear anything else that they might have to say about me. But all throughout my drive home, their words kept ringing through my head. Was it impolite of me not to say goodbye? Maybe I should have said goodbye? Have a good night? Why is it a big deal that I didn’t say bye? I don’t glower at them. I smiled. That’s like a goodbye, right?

I kept questioning my actions leading up to that moment and far before that. Was it weird that I didn’t talk to a lot of the warehouse guys? I work in the office and I only see them at the end of the day when I’m about to leave. I don’t talk frequently with a lot of the other people in the office except for our receptionist who is probably one of the friendliest people I’ve ever met. I talk just enough to do my job.

And then I started to get really mad. My job pays me to do just that – my job. They don’t pay me to socialize or make friends. If I don’t want to talk to other people – or hey, here’s a thought – painfully struggle through conversations with coworkers who are all thirty years older me and share hardly anything in common with me, why should I have to? Who are they to judge me? They know nothing about me or what I’m going through. I’ve only been there a month – if anything they should have introduced themselves!

I’m an introvert and I always have been. I am just naturally a quiet person. Unless I know the person really well, small talk is kind of difficult and awkward for me. I understand some people can naturally just talk and talk and talk, but I’m not like that. I shouldn’t have to feel like a freak just because of that.

The more I think about the situation, the more it annoys me. If they want to have a conversation with me, they can walk into the office and talk to me. Ask me how my weekend is and I’ll answer you. It’s not like I hide in a corner and don’t speak when spoken to.

Their words shouldn’t bother me. I don’t know what else was said after I left – though I imagine nothing nice – and even though there was nothing inherently mean about what they specifically said, it was how they said it. Their voices lowered just enough so they thought I couldn’t hear them. Snide.

So I can be mad and I can say that if they want to talk to me they can come in and talk to me, that I have no obligation or even reason to talk with them, but their words still sting and a day later I still can’t get them out of my head.

Labor til the work is done

I’ve been working at the movie theater for about a year and a half now. I don’t talk about it much on here for a couple of different reasons, but mainly because I don’t want to be complaining all the time. For what should be an easy and fun job, it is incredibly frustrating and I’m pretty sure the only reason I’ve stayed there as long as I have is because of the free movies I don’t like change.

The first six months I worked there I actually really enjoyed it. I had a really great group of managers who were both good at their job and good at working with employees. My HR manager was great at making sure I didn’t have too many hours/had enough hours depending on my school schedule and there was never any issue over me going home to St. Louis for breaks.

But he received a better job offer somewhere else and in the next year, we had gone though five new HR managers. And it’s awful. I don’t get consistent hours, I get really crappy shifts, and none of them were ever able to communicate well with employees. My last schedule, half of my days I was scheduled outside of my availability.

At a job like this, the employee turnover rate is extremely high. I’m not sure what the average is, but there are only two other people that still work there when I started. There’s also no room for advancement unless you want to work 60 hour weeks and get fed a bunch of crap if you ever want to take a day off. And for crappy pay. No thanks.

Anyways, I guess what I’m trying to say is I get treated like crap. I’m under-payed, unappreciated, and fed up. I’ve already talked to several supervisors and they’ve communicated how I feel to management and nothing has changed. I am one of the best workers they have and yet people who were just hired get more hours and better shifts than I do. I told my manager I had enough.

So I got a job at a local grocery store and starting there I make more than I do now at the movie theater. One of my really good friends who just quit working at the theater told me about it and told me to apply. I did and I just had orientation yesterday. On Monday I go in for training and I am so excited to not be working as much as the movies!

I would quit, but there’s going to be a bartending position opening there soon, and I wouldn’t have to deal with any of the crap that I have been dealing with if I get that job. I think I will, because there’s no one else of age and they like to hire from within. I would make good tips and think of all the drinks I would learn to make!

I’ve been trying for some internships, but so far nothing has come from any applications… It just really sucks. I haven’t told Andrew because I’m too embarrassed. I’m just going to try working two jobs to make up for it.

“Rise up like the sun, labor till the work is done
One day you’ll leave fearlessness on your sleeve
When you’ve come back, tell me what did you see
Was there something out there for me?”

–“Be Still,” The Killers